I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
