I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
