this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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