I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
