Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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