dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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