It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
