plz talk dirty to me
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
