I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
