Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
