how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The power of my boobs compel you
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
