Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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