question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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