somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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