they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Success! We fucked roommates!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
