i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
