my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
