I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
