it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
