i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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