I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
