Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i think im in europe. pls send help
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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