I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
COCAINE IS GR8
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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