i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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