And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
