why didn't you poke me back
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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