PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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