I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
