theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Damn victory sex feels great
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
