and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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