I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
