Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
