Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
