WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
my liver is dry heaving
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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