i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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