8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
