They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
