I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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