I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
