Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
