well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
