11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
