dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
