Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
