i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
