ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
