Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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