last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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