Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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