I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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